What To Do When They Don’t Make the Cut: Kids and Competition

Globe photo/Joel Benjamin, borrowed from http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2010/08/22/what_happened_to_losing/

In this competitive world we live in, our kids try out and audition for things all the time, hoping to be the best. Hoping to make the team. We encourage them to do this; we want our kids to take risks and be courageous, giving their all for the things they care most about. A positive outcome provides cause for celebration and pride. But what about the times when the outcome is not what your child wanted? What if they don’t make the cut?

This week, Ian found out that he was selected for a highly competitive vocal jazz high school ensemble as a singer. This is new territory for him; he’s never participated in a choir, and he was nervous as heck to try out for it. He was convinced he wouldn’t make it in, and frankly I didn’t know if he would either, because there are so many good teenage voices vying for the positions. When he made it, yes. We squealed. We jumped up and down. We hollared. We were quite boisterous in our celebrations. But that evening, I told him what I was proudest of is not that he made it, but that he was willing to try even though he felt he wouldn’t be selected; it’s that risk that’s important. He could have made it or not, but my pride would have been no different.

There were other kids who didn’t make it, of course. We heard from some of them too, some angry, some sad, and one child who said she would no longer sing, since she wasn’t good enough for the jazz choir. The reactions were stunning. Disappointment is a sadly inseparable element to this part of the process, but we need to remind ourselves and our children whose dreams these are. These are not the choir director’s dreams. These are not the parents’ dreams. These are our children’s dreams. And if let our children give control of their dreams to an audition outcome, then we are not equipping them with the strength they need for their life’s journey. And we are letting them deprive themselves their greatest joys.

Kids: if you don’t make the ensemble, then start one of your own. If you want to sing, SING. Call the other folks who didn’t make it. Call those who did make it. Call your friends. Call strangers. If you want to make music, there is not a person on this earth who can keep that from you. If that door is closed, then smash in the window. But get inside… or get outside. Create your own vision. Parents: there is no greater gift you can give your children than to help them recognize their own autonomy over their dreams. To stick with the music example, if they don’t make the cut, then serve the role of the director. Help your child organize other kids into their own group. Take them to a music store and buy them sheet music. Give them snacks when they come to rehearse at your home.

This type of creative determination has been one of our guiding values our whole school career. When public schools couldn’t provide our kids with what they needed, we smashed in the proverbial window. We created something new. We advocated for grade-skipping, and when that wasn’t enough, we homeschooled. When homeschool wasn’t enough, we looked outward to university mentors, public school classes, always supported by a nation-wide online community of families who are trying new things themselves (we actively sought them out too). Never stop. Never accept someone else’s word that “this is the way it is.” Make it what you want it. I think of my friend Amy, who, anxious about her grades, was told in college by her English teacher, “you’re just a student who makes B’s.” Today she teaches English at a university herself, and is the successful author of two young adult books.

Our world needs bright stars. You are a bright star. Your children are too. But no one, no matter how good their intentions, is going to drag you to your fullest potential. Each of us individually are the only ones who can do that.

If you need further inspiration, take the time to watch these two young heroes.

Ian’s Newest Song: A Little Story and Video

Over the weekend – actually, on Saturday – Ian got a bug for a new song. He worked off and on for hours, plugging away at his keyboard, typing up lyrics, and generally working it through. It was a great weekend for it; with the high temperature at 2 degrees and a predicted blizzard, we didn’t have a lot planned. All day long the four of us alternated family game playing and meals with individual creative time – Jamie wrote, Eva read, I painted a wall in the dining room, and Ian made music.

At bedtime that evening, he was ready to share his final product with us. I was curled up on his futon couch, and Jamie leaned in the doorway. A lovely piece, he was so proud of it and attributed its sound to his work in music theory along with chord progressions Jamie had taught him over the years. The three of us sat there in that moment, enjoying the music, tweaking a couple of lyrics… Jamie suggested a bridge, and we talked about its musical and lyrical purpose. Ian’s really good at turning a phrase in his songs, slightly evolving the meaning or making the listener think it’s about one thing, when it’s suggesting something very different. We discussed all this, thinking he would work on adding a bridge the next day. But he was writing it in his head as we were talking, and in moments he had an entirely new section, lyrics and all.

The song is amazing, but I loved the evening too, so much. Before that final conversation, I had spent the previous hour in Ian’s room as he finalized his piece. He had his strings of white lights plugged in, which made it feel like we were being illuminated by candles. I’ve got a new novel I’m reading by Catherynne Valente, and it felt so great just to kick back in his room, reading and listening to him sing and play. Usually I’m folding laundry or straightening the house or something not nearly as magical. That whole evening – the reading and listening, the conversation and discussion about music and his song…. I don’t know. It just seems like one of those times that’s going to stick in my head to relive when I’m 70, 80, 90.

Tonight he had me film it for him. Lyrics are below the video. Enjoy.

Tell Me If I Did, by Ian Ridenhour

I’m not trying to love you, baby / You don’t have to hide / Here I am, a shelter from the storm / You can come inside / I just wanna be your best friend / If you need a place to cry

I’m not trying to hurt you, baby / I’m sorry if I did / There’s treasure here inside you, baby / Let’s find out where it’s hid / I don’t wanna keep any secrets / Tell me if I did

I’m not trying to love you, baby / I’m sorry if I did / Things have changed a lot between you and me / Let’s keep nothing hid / I don’t wanna make you think I love you / Tell me if I did

We could be so much together / Say the word, I’m yours / If I mess up, tell me, baby / I can close the door / I could be your very best friend / Or something more

Bridge: I’m dreaming all the time / You got me goin’ insane / I guess that now you’re mine / I am not to blame / I’m dreaming all the time

Life has ways of changing your mind / Now that we’re in love / I didn’t think I’d be your lover / Things have changed a lot / I don’t think it’s time just yet / So here’s a break-up song / If you forgive me, give me time / I’ll just play along

New Year Family Goal-Setting Time: Creativity

Creative outlets are what makes this family function properly. When out of balance, we all four get grumpy and unsettled. This has been especially challenging for us this year as we’ve moved into a very small, charming, and old bungalow with some fabulous unfinished spaces. We naively believed that we could have these spaces (one an attic that will become an art studio, and the second a basement that will outfit a music rehearsal and recording space) finished by early last fall. Ha! North Dakota’s oil boom related growth has kept every contractor and sub-contractor so busy it’s unbelievable. As a result, we’ve had to wait and wait and wait. We’ve been on top of each other, and the space we naturally take up for creating has been pretty much confined to the kitchen table.

The attic in process. The temporary pink foam sheets mark planned vertically placed skylights.

With all our art boxes still packed away in the garage, we (especially Eva and I) have felt unsettled this year. We have had some progress, and we see an end in sight: the attic by the end of the month, the basement by… dare I hope for the end of March? This makes us incredibly happy, and in the meantime, we keep our dining table nice and cluttered and full.

Oh, but the lure of these spaces! Eva and I are already dreaming of our separate writing areas up there, hers a window seat that I’ll build for her, mine a simple table and chair. A spacious Lego area, and of course lots of space for canvasses and paper, paint and pastels. Just the idea of all that gets our creative juices flowing.

in the meantime, Eva is working steadily on her newest novel, a science fiction piece that takes place in an animal cell. She’s had to take out a character, which has proven to be the biggest editing challenge she’s ever faced. But she’s determined. We cleaned off her bedroom desk yesterday so that she could feel more authorly. She’s been making writing-related posts on her Facebook author page that are so cheerful it feels like summer.

Eva is also continuing to explore music, enjoying playing trumpet in band, and teaching herself how to play piano. Bass clef is still sketchy, and she never commits enough to sit down at the piano, but she’ll stand there picking away every time she passes by the instrument (which is often). Spotify and her iPod have helped introduce Eva to new music, and right now she’s really into powerful women with a harder musical edge like Paramore and Joan Jett.

Ian has big goals too, which I’ve talked about before. Now that he’s done with his lengthy application process for the Downbeat Magazine Student Music Awards competition, he’s focusing on an orchestral composition that will begin as a 18th century classical work and transform into a modern heavy metal sound. A collaboration with fashion designer Isabella Taylor, they are working together to create a multi-media piece that moves from stately, refined conservatism to a freedom of expression and thought. She will design the fashions, and the music will help express the message in a runway-show-type presentation. It’s challenging work, and Ian has gotten his music theory teacher on board with the project so that he can receive regular expert feedback along the way.

Another big goal for Ian has to do with the pending space. Once the basement is finished, he hopes to turn it into a community hotspot, welcoming musicians of all ages to come and create music together. He wants to create official performing groups, but also to simply have opportunities to play with new folks just for the sheer delight of making music.

As an extension of this, Ian hopes to produce his first album this summer. We’ve been in steady conversation about this. It’s a challenging thing to take on, mainly because of the wide variety of genres Ian enjoys. How does one place a rock ballad next to a composition for orchestra? Do we make it a hodge-podge collection of his work as a type of demo? Do we release individual songs instead, using his Bandcamp page? Lots of things to consider here, and we haven’t figured it all out yet. There’s also the fundraising to think about. Recording of course isn’t cheap, and we feel it is important for Ian to be involved with this aspect of the business as well. We’ve discussed a possible Kickstarter campaign, which opens up all sorts of new things to research and explore, like what all needs to be in place before the campaign begins, how to make a convincing Kickstarter video, what benefits to offer supporters, and how to promote the campaign to ensure success.

Jamie with his newest book, In Darkest London

And that’s just the kids. Husband-Jamie is shopping for agents for a new YA novel, just published his first academic book, and is about to begin a new novel. I want to paint more and write more. I just met the lovely Elizabeth Raum this week, a professional children’s nonfiction author, and she has me inspired. I’m also lucky to have the brilliant and creative Jennifer Woods in my life, the vibrant editor of Typecast Publishing, who will I swear change the world with her vision and commitment to literary social engagement. Her work and enthusiasm is also quite inspiring and contagious. I can’t wait to see what 2013 brings.

If you see value in these exercises and goals, think about it within the language of school. This is our family’s school, our life. This is our education. If we could be so bold in supporting our schools and teachers, in training and then trusting them to be more subjective in their evaluation of student success – to accept portfolio reports instead of standardized test scores, think about it! The things we do here in our homeschool environment could be made accessible to so many other children! That’s an educational paradigm I could get into.

Ian is Featured on the Daily Dakotan

Matt Fern of The Creative Treatment featured Ian on his running series, “The Daily Dakotan.” Hope you enjoy!

The Joy of Postponing Gratification

Ian pictured with the University of Mary Jazz Ensemble and Steel Drum Band

In this age of instant gratification that is fed by facebook posts, easy video uploading, and overnight youtube sensations, it’s tempting for us to long for the easy way. As a culture, we’ve always celebrated those folks who achieve overnight fame: love him or hate him, Justin Beiber is a great example. And it seems everywhere you look, there’s some young whipper-snapper who’s already on Ellen or American Idol, or has a bazillion hits on their youtube video that they put together in just a few hours.

We watch these rising stars at our house for talent inspiration, and because, well, it’s fascinating and somewhat alluring. But you have to be careful; quick success isn’t always the best route to take. One of my favorite mottos is  just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Though Ian certainly participates in activities with more instant gratification – he’s made and uploaded quite a few rough videos of him or him and a friend belting out pop songs and hoping for overnight viral status – it’s the harder work that takes longer that I admire most.

Last year, Ian started taking private music theory lessons with Dr. Anthony Williams at the University of Mary. To begin, his professor gave him just a few bars of melody of John Coltrane’s jazz classic “Bessie’s Blues.” Over the course of the year, Ian worked on that piece, broadening and arranging it for a full jazz band. Jazz is a fluid, generous genre, and it leaves a lot of opportunity for personal interpretation some original composition within the larger frame. Ian worked and worked on this piece, and there were some days he felt like he’d never see the end. His professor used the exercise to teach him music theory (another plug for making education relevant to the student!). The result: a much fuller understanding of music theory, and a kicking jazz piece to boot.

Because Ian’s professor is Awesome, and he directs the university Jazz Ensemble, he had his ensemble debut Ian’s piece last Friday as a part of their larger community jazz concert. He even invited Ian to sit in on the drums as a special guest. To finally hear his piece like we had all been “visualizing” in our minds for a full year – to hear it played by a full, smokin’ jazz ensemble – was, well, there are no words. We were beaming, all of us. Dancing in our seats. Hootin’ and hollarin’.

Perhaps the best part of the evening was that it got even better when we got home. Ian couldn’t sleep – a frequent occurrence after a gig – and immediately began composing a new jazz piece for the university ensemble next year. He knows it won’t be easy or fast. He knows it won’t be instant gratification. But he’s on fire, and he knows the hard work will pay off. I couldn’t be happier.

Managing a Budding Music Career

Ian plays with Hex Radio at a recent VFW gig.

When I look back over the last few posts, I realize that they are more Eva- than Ian-heavy. That’s because Eva and I are doing more face-to-face exploration together than Ian and I are. Ian’s 12 now, and branching out to classes and projects that have less and less to do with my direct teaching of anything. Most of his work – especially in the music world – has long since required expertise beyond what I have to offer.

It’s exciting stuff, and I’m watching his musical personality unfold in his many and varied activities. He composes all the time – pop, rock, ballads, jazz, latin, orchestral work, classical marimba – there aren’t many genres that he’s not excited about. Sometimes this composing happens on the computer, Ian typing out lyrics and singing them out while he goes. Sometimes, like last night, it’s well past his bedtime, and he quickly records himself belting out a few reminder lines on his cellphone. The orchestrated pieces he creates using the computer software Finale. My “assignment” for him this year is to become proficient in Cubase, a computer program that is more useful for creating realistic sounding recordings of his work. I know nothing about Cubase, so the only help I can provide is in the form of library and internet resources, and perhaps a mentor or two.

Ian dressed for the high school marching band. Minus shoes.

If put all together, Ian probably works on music in some form approximately 3-4 hours each day. This breaks down to two hours of daily band rehearsal at the high school, approximately one hour of composing work, and one hour of practice. And then there is musical exposure – listening to jazz masters, watching Coldplay music videos, dancing to Gangnam Style and it’s various parodies; that happens off and on all the time and is difficult to quantify in terms of time spent. To be real, this level of work doesn’t happen every day, and those Magic the Gathering trading cards will often grab his attention much more firmly than the musical task at hand.

Folks who don’t know better might wonder what kind of Tiger Mama I am. 3-4 hours?? For reals! But the truth of the matter is that my main purpose and task as a homeschooling mom is to give Ian the intensive, high quality academic experience he desires while opening up as much free creative time as possible for him to pursue his truest love. This was my commitment to him from the beginning, and as he gets older, I find my job as manager increases as my role as teacher decreases. The only academic teaching I directly provide at this point is history. Between public school, his online class, and internet resources, the rest is pretty much taken care of.

Over the past few months, Ian has become more deeply involved in a wide variety of musical projects and has ambitious goals for the rest of the year. They’re so exciting, I’m going to share some of them here:

• Home record and share his increasing number of original compositions
• Continue composing in all the genres I mentioned above, including songs for his band Hex Radio, songs for his other group Flash, marimba trios for his high school wind ensemble, and other pieces as they come up
• Increase performance opportunities for both solo and band work
• Become proficient in Cubase
• Explore and apply for several categories of Downbeat’s Student Music Awards (there is a lot of prep work for this process, and though it is incredibly competitive, the work involved is a worthy pursuit even if no award is won)
• Prepare for various upcoming festivals and all-state auditions
• Rework his website

The music room is currently our unfinished basement. Can’t wait for sheet rock and insulation!

Coming up on November 9th, the University of Mary Jazz band will be performing Ian’s arrangement of John Coltrane’s “Bessie’s Blues.” This was his major music theory project last year, and after dozens of tweaks and last minute changes, we think it’s finally ready for public presentation. We are so thrilled about this event – I’m downright giddy for it. And tomorrow night he’ll have his first solo gig… ever, I believe. He’s downstairs right now rehearsing; he’ll be singing and playing keyboard – mostly originals.

One of the things he’s most excited about is a budding collaboration between him and Isabella Taylor, a tremendous young visual artist out of Austin, Texas. I’m not going to give any spoilers here – the project will be months in the making, and you’ll just have to be on pins and needles until they unveil. But I’ll tell you this – it’s unlike anything he’s ever done before. It will be fun to see what they come up with together.

With all this work – all these goals – you can see why 3-4 hours each day isn’t so unreasonable. It’s what he wakes up wanting to do and craves all day. In fact, his only criticism of his schedule this year is that there isn’t more time to do music.

It’s like this with intense kids. We parents are just doing our best to keep up, provide the time and resources our kids need, and make sure they go to bed at a decent hour and eat three meals a day. Oh, and brush their teeth and all too. And put on a jacket. And you know, the little things.

If you have similar experiences with your kids, I’d love to hear about them. How do you help your intense kids manage their time? And how successful are you at helping them find open space for creative pursuits? Share your tips! We’d love to hear them.

Oh, and before you go, check out this song that Ian and his buddy Ty from Flash! recorded the other week. Good fun!

The Ridenhour House of Horror

I have mentioned from time to time that my husband is a writer. He tends to like topics that lean toward the macabre, especially as they pertain to classic monsters such as vampires, zombies, werewolves, and ghosts. This love of the dark comes from his mother, by the way, who had a tradition of staying up late with then 12-year old Jamie watching old monster movies on a Friday night. Funny how something like that can turn creepy into strangely comforting.

The creative team of “Cornerboys” and “House of the Yaga.” From left to right: Kevin Smith, Jamie Ridenhour, Ali LaRock.

Anyhoo, Jamie’s spine-tingling creativity really comes to life (or rises up from the grave) every October. He’s normally quite booked for the month, giving talks on the vampire tradition, reading original ghost stories, performing songs about dead men, etc. It’s all rather charming. On Friday night, the fam went over to the Bismarck Downtown Artist Coop for a screening of two collaborative short films called “Cornerboys” and “House of the Yaga.” He wrote and read the pieces, family friend Ali LaRock created the amazing artwork, and Jamie’s childhood friend Kevin Smith wrote and recorded the atmospheric music. These films are the first two of a planned trilogy of sorts (though the stories are unconnected).

I’m sharing them here as a gift to my readers and friends, offered in the Halloween spirit of good fun and creativity. Perhaps you will enjoy them simply as films with exciting thrills and chills. Or maybe you could use them with your kids/students to explore folklore traditions, storytelling, narrative, and/or poetic form. Or discuss the possibilities and strengths of creative collaboration. If you have a music lover, really turn it up and discuss how the sounds reflect and/or foreshadow the films’ events (if you really want to hear all the layers and whispers, try hooking up your computer to your stereo speakers). Want other ideas? Let me know in the comments section of this post; last year, “Cornerboys” was used as a focus of study in a high school in France, and Jamie can talk to you about how you can use films like this as a part of your curriculum.

However you enjoy them, don’t forget the popcorn. Happy Halloween!

If that wasn’t enough for you, Jamie also had a short ghost story called “Singing By the Fire” released on Pseudopod on October 5th. You can listen to it here. And if you want even more, go on over to his website.

Who Said? – Ian Records His First Solo Music Video

No big blog entry this evening. I just want to share the finished music video that Ian wrote and recorded this summer. Click here if you want to read more about it. Enjoy!   … Oh, and go like him on facebook. It will make his day!

Thinking Beyond Curriculum: Music

Ian at Six Plus 1 Studios, recording his new song

A lot of folks have asked me if we homeschool throughout the year, or if we take off the summer months. That’s always a relatively difficult question, because we are pretty fluid with our definition of “school.” We do put aside the more traditional curricula choices such as history and science (though we still watch fun videos on both topics), but we retain most everything else. I ask the kids to work on math for about a half hour each day to prevent summer slide. Although they get a little grumpy about that, they embrace everything else without much nudging from me.

So what is “everything else?” It is all the things that the kids want to study. They read like fiends, and my biggest job is to keep fresh and interesting material close at hand. They play with legos. They paint and write and start small businesses. They form bands and practice music. Ian wrote something on the order of 15 songs this summer and completed an arrangement of John Coltraine’s “Bessie’s Blues” that he’s been working on for more than a year. The University of Mary Jazz Band will be performing it this fall, and we can’t wait.

Music instruction for a lot of people means signing their kid up for band. Some, especially pianists and violinists, will go the extra step and find a private instructor. But music can be so much more than that. To begin with, private instruction can be extremely beneficial for every instrument, whether your child plays the bassoon or the flute. But as Ian tells kids at Career Day, there is a world of opportunity beyond these two outlets.

Music is such a wide open field. There’s performance using sheet music, and there’s improvisation. You can work as a soloist, in a duo, trio, 5-piece, or huge concert band. So many styles too – jazz, rock, latin, classical, and dozens more; Ian encourages kids not to just settle for one, but to branch out and experience all they can. Some of the best music is written to blur the boundaries, combining middle eastern music with celtic, or classical with rock, etc. And then of course there is the world of arranging and composing and theory. Studying music at any of these levels takes the child so far beyond the traditional concert band experience.

Ian plays for Jimmy Cobb at the Dakota Club

Finding excellent music teachers, whether they are band directors, private teachers, or youtube or dvd instructors is key to this kind of deep exploration. All of Ian’s teachers regularly point him to great percussionists and composers so that he can study and practice their different styles. This summer we happened to be in Minneapolis at the same time as the great jazz drummer Jimmy Cobb. The last surviving player on Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue album, Cobb has played with just about everybody over the years, including Dizzy Gillespie, Billie Holiday, Sonny Stitt, and of course all the amazing musicians in the Miles Davis band.

Ian and Jimmy Cobb

We discovered that Cobb provides private lessons, and a phone call later, Ian was signed up for a half-hour session. It was a wonderful experience, and just a like a great teacher should, Cobb rattled off a list of other musicians that Ian should watch out for and study. His list included those wonderful peers of Cobb’s who are now passed on, but also several up and coming musicians of the younger generation. I was struck once again how important the music community is to the development of each individual musician.

The other big thing we did this summer in music was to put Ian in a studio so that he could record one of the songs he had written. The two-man team (Kevin Smith at Six Plus 1 Studios and Gavin Smith of BGS Productions) put together a beautiful live recording and a studio video, both of which will be released in the coming weeks. Ian really enjoyed the experience and noted how difficult it is to get a song perfect from beginning to end, especially when you have a team of people who are waiting for you to get it right. Such lovely folks, though. They both worked to put Ian at ease.

Ian in the studio, getting ready to record his song “Who Said”

I believe these kinds of experiences are possible both at home and in the school system. Collaboration with local musicians, teachers and studios is just a phone call away. Schools can also host “battles of the bands,” encouraging kids to form new combinations and explore improv and songwriting together. One of the greatest opportunities for Ian in the middle school jazz band was the University of Mary Jazz Festival: two full days of performance and workshops with brilliant faculty and musicians from around the country.

So what about you? How do you and your child approach music?

Engaging in Summer Creativity

Eva and her friend Leah selling their creative duct tape art in the front yard, along with lemonade and homemade brownies.

I thought about naming this post “Engaging Kids in Summer Creativity,” since this blog is primarily about raising and educating kids intentionally, but why should they get all the fun? I want in too. Summer is the perfect time for kids and parents alike to flex creative muscles and explore things you may not have time for during the busy school year. And of course there’s all that sage advice about practicing what you preach, etc. If you want kids to make healthy choices, then you have to model that good behavior. But really, I just want in. And you should too.

So that’s Rule Number One in the Ridenhour Creativity Engagement Rule Book. If you want to engage your kids, find room in your own life to engage in some kind of creative endeavor. Do this activity with your child, or alongside, or even separate, but make time for it. You don’t have to be a painter or a musician. Maybe you like gardening. Or scrapbooking. Or cooking. Or maybe you just like to take walks in the neighborhood (and yes, I would argue that being a part of creativity too, depending on how you experience it). Whatever you find fulfilling.

Rule Number Two: Facilitate activity brainstorming without telling your child what to do. If a child is bored, and the parents are quick to give a solution, then the child never learns how to deal with the boredom themselves. Learning how to come up with ideas is an essential part of the creative process. This doesn’t mean you can’t be involved; grab your nearest white board (you have several handy, yes?) and announce a Creative Brainstorming Session. Then both of you can write ideas on the board. This kind of activity trains your child how to address their own boredom. Seeing all those options will help too. Perhaps they’ll even want to keep the list to refer back too. For many years, our family has set out a list of summer goals each May. Popular items on the list include bike rides, picnics, and game playing. Husband-Jamie always has “writing time” (he’s a novelist) on the list. Ian has “play lots of music.” I usually have exercise (I’m terrible at follow-through on that one) and gardening. And Eva often lists sleepovers and lego time. You get the idea. We keep the list visible all summer, referring back, checking things off, and adding new stuff.

Rule Number Three: Provide free time. I’m all for camps – they expose kids to a wide variety of activities, ideas, and other kids, and they are especially helpful for dual-income families. However, if the child is enrolled in camps with no break, she will never have the opportunity to pursue her own ideas and activities. There are countless studies and blogs and opinion columns about the hyper-scheduling of today’s children. I’m not going to go there, but I do think balance is key.

Ian’s band Hex Radio performing at the downtown street fair Urban Harvest.

Rule Number Four: Host your child’s friends. Sometimes it’s just easier and more fun to engage in creative activities if you do it with a buddy. Eva recently attended a duct tape art camp (see? I do like camps!), and was instantly hooked. Her friend Leah attended with her and gave Eva a collection of colorful duct tape for her birthday. Now they make creations together, and Eva teaches her other friends how to make stuff too. Ian has several groups of friends that fulfill different creative needs. There is one group who will play Magic the Gathering and other trading card games with him for hours (and hours). Another plays music with him – actually he’s in two kid bands right now. Over the last week, Ian’s band Hex Radio has practically lived at our house rehearsing, gigging, recording, playing, and shooting their first music video (I’ve included it at the bottom of this post). It’s so fun to see all these conglomerations – to hear the excitement in their voices and experience all the wonderful things they come up with.

Rule Number Five: Procure appropriate supplies. This does two things: 1) it provides the practical tools needed for the creative activity, and 2) it validates your child’s interest. It cracks me up after all these years, but when I took Eva out to buy even more duct tape the other day, she kept squeezing my hand and told me how much she appreciated my buying her more. It was so sweet. Ian’s hobby is more expensive – recording equipment and software, composing software, a computer to run it all, drumsticks, etc. – but they are essential to helping him grow as a musician, so for us anyway, they are necessary expenses. Both kids know we value their ideas, because we invest both time and resources to support them.

Rule Number Six: Validate your child’s idea. This goes beyond just buying supplies. If your child takes on a particular project, then treat the process with respect. Is Eva a prodigy duct tape artist? No. Will she be making this art for more than even a few months? Probably not. Is there anything particularly special about the art she’s making? Honestly, not really. It’s cute, but what I’m interested more in is the excitement she has about it. She’s also willing to experiment with it. She started to make a duct tape dress and realized she didn’t have the skills to complete such an advanced project. She took the big panel of tape she made and decided to turn it into a bike pouch. When the straps didn’t work out so well, she began brainstorming on new latching solutions. She’s having a blast, thinking outside the box, enjoying her friends, and just hosted a duct tape art sale in the front yard. Pretty awesome.

Eva selling her books at the mall.

Rule Number Seven: If you can, keep your eye out for opportunities for your child to take their creative project to a more professional level. This may just be having the duct tape art sale on the front lawn (her idea by the way), but it could also be a community event. For example, earlier this month I stumbled across a flyer inviting kids to have a booth for a day at the local mall, selling their wares. I brought the flier home for Eva, who used the opportunity to promote her books (she sold 8 copies!). The reason this step is important is to back up Rule Number Six. When your kids see you believing in them and in their ideas, it’s magic, pure and simple.

What creative endeavors are you and your kids taking on this summer?

And oh, yeah – as promised, here’s Hex Radio’s new music video, “Common Lies.”