What To Do When They Don’t Make the Cut: Kids and Competition

Globe photo/Joel Benjamin, borrowed from http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2010/08/22/what_happened_to_losing/

In this competitive world we live in, our kids try out and audition for things all the time, hoping to be the best. Hoping to make the team. We encourage them to do this; we want our kids to take risks and be courageous, giving their all for the things they care most about. A positive outcome provides cause for celebration and pride. But what about the times when the outcome is not what your child wanted? What if they don’t make the cut?

This week, Ian found out that he was selected for a highly competitive vocal jazz high school ensemble as a singer. This is new territory for him; he’s never participated in a choir, and he was nervous as heck to try out for it. He was convinced he wouldn’t make it in, and frankly I didn’t know if he would either, because there are so many good teenage voices vying for the positions. When he made it, yes. We squealed. We jumped up and down. We hollared. We were quite boisterous in our celebrations. But that evening, I told him what I was proudest of is not that he made it, but that he was willing to try even though he felt he wouldn’t be selected; it’s that risk that’s important. He could have made it or not, but my pride would have been no different.

There were other kids who didn’t make it, of course. We heard from some of them too, some angry, some sad, and one child who said she would no longer sing, since she wasn’t good enough for the jazz choir. The reactions were stunning. Disappointment is a sadly inseparable element to this part of the process, but we need to remind ourselves and our children whose dreams these are. These are not the choir director’s dreams. These are not the parents’ dreams. These are our children’s dreams. And if let our children give control of their dreams to an audition outcome, then we are not equipping them with the strength they need for their life’s journey. And we are letting them deprive themselves their greatest joys.

Kids: if you don’t make the ensemble, then start one of your own. If you want to sing, SING. Call the other folks who didn’t make it. Call those who did make it. Call your friends. Call strangers. If you want to make music, there is not a person on this earth who can keep that from you. If that door is closed, then smash in the window. But get inside… or get outside. Create your own vision. Parents: there is no greater gift you can give your children than to help them recognize their own autonomy over their dreams. To stick with the music example, if they don’t make the cut, then serve the role of the director. Help your child organize other kids into their own group. Take them to a music store and buy them sheet music. Give them snacks when they come to rehearse at your home.

This type of creative determination has been one of our guiding values our whole school career. When public schools couldn’t provide our kids with what they needed, we smashed in the proverbial window. We created something new. We advocated for grade-skipping, and when that wasn’t enough, we homeschooled. When homeschool wasn’t enough, we looked outward to university mentors, public school classes, always supported by a nation-wide online community of families who are trying new things themselves (we actively sought them out too). Never stop. Never accept someone else’s word that “this is the way it is.” Make it what you want it. I think of my friend Amy, who, anxious about her grades, was told in college by her English teacher, “you’re just a student who makes B’s.” Today she teaches English at a university herself, and is the successful author of two young adult books.

Our world needs bright stars. You are a bright star. Your children are too. But no one, no matter how good their intentions, is going to drag you to your fullest potential. Each of us individually are the only ones who can do that.

If you need further inspiration, take the time to watch these two young heroes.

The Peoplehood of the Traveling Swirly Pan: Where Education Meets Tasty

Introducing the Fabulous Jenni Field!

I’m here today to rave about my delightful, hilarious, compassionate, and brilliant chef friend Jenni Field, who offers up her chef-ish secrets for free on her website, in blog posts and charming kitchen-based videos. Jenni, who regularly buys items to give away to her readers, recently came up with a super idea to spread her passion for her most beloved swirly cake pan. She couldn’t afford to buy enough of them to just give them away to whoever wanted them, so she decided to send hers on a transcontinental trip, so that it could experience baking love from many hands in many, many states. She announced her plans on facebook and her website, and to date, she has 172 participants from 48 states and Canada (come on New Mexico and South Dakota!). She calls her newly formed community “Peoplehood of the Traveling Swirly Pan.”

The pan will travel from participant to participant, and each person will bake something in the swirly cake pan, photograph it, share it with the swirly pan community, and then send it on to the next person. A beautiful way to connect the world, don’t you think?

As I was signing up to participate, it occurred to me that this was a fantastic learning opportunity as well. Jenni thinks the pan can rotate to approximately 30 people per year, so she estimates its journey will last more than 5 years. How cool for us homeschoolers, parents, teachers, grandparents, and other folks who love learning to jump on board and follow its progress?

One of Jenni’s amazing creations in her swirly pan

There are so many ways to hook this into our educational plans.

1. Geography: Set up a map and chart the progress. Mark the map with sticker stars as the pan travels from state to state.

2. Cooking/Math: Observe and discuss the different cakes being baked in the same pan. Try some new recipes!

3. Culture: On your map, indicate what kind of cake was made at each stop. Are there cultural themes? Do northerners bake different types of cakes than southerners? Westerners vs. easterners? Or are we all homogenized due to readily available ingredients and an integrated population?

4. Creativity: Discuss the variety of approaches to the same pan that are dependent on perspective. Broaden that discussion to embrace other topics – worldviews, art, religion, politics, music, reading, fashion – you name it.

5. Community: This is fabulous opportunity to get to know new folks and invite friends and family you already know from around the country. Jenni has provided ample venues for connection, including Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. If we had enough kids involved, perhaps they could continue their correspondence throughout the pan’s 5+ year long journey.

What other ways can you think of to use this project to enhance your education? Let me know – or more importantly, let Jenni know when you sign up!

Minecraft in the Classroom

Blogging Note: If you don’t know what the video game Minecraft is, check out this link and watch the little demo.

Over the last couple of weeks, Minecraft, gaming, and personal devices have continued to surface as topics related to education. Ian shared the following link with me on facebook. He thought that maybe – just maybe – I would finally see the light and let him have as much Minecraft time as his little heart desires. I had to laugh, and it took me a couple of days to get around to watching it, but then I did. And it was quirky and fun. Give it a watch.

This little video led to other threads of conversation, including this TED talk about making education exclusively a gaming format. Now I simply just can’t get into that. At one point in the presentation, TED talker Zichermann describes the days of his grandfather in which a person might sit down on a Sunday afternoon with a good book and a cup of tea and then says with a laugh, “I don’t think that today’s kids are ever gonna do that.” Oooooh. Bad form. Totally lost me there, Zichermann.

But then, as if the stars were aligning, by friend and fellow blogger The Suburban Matron posted about her kindergartener’s school asking its students to bring in their own personal tech devices for use in the classroom. She was struggling with what it meant to use these types of tools at so young an age. (You should read the post, and others of hers too. She’s ridiculously funny). Lots to think about.

But back to Minecraft, to which both of my children are slightly addicted. Eva, who also watched Ian’s little video find, has also been at me to include Minecraft in school. But I just couldn’t get my mind around it. Until today. She, wise child that she is, finally figured out that she needed to be specific to get me to take her seriously. She suggested that she make a history timeline in Minecraft. This caught my attention. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I would make a huge wall out of wool,” she said, “and then post signs along it to create the timeline.”

I agreed to grant one hour a day to Minecraft for this purpose. Because I am so very stingy with video game time (both kids get only up to 1 and 1/2 hours each week, and only on the weekends), this was like saying tomorrow was going to be Christmas, part 2. She started immediately, and as I watched, she created the wall, divided it up into centuries, color coded different cultures (light blue is China, brown is England, etc.), and pulled up some internet resources to help her plot major world events.

At this point, Ian discovered us. He wasn’t going to have this new delight unshared, especially since it was all started by the video that he found and posted to my wall. So I agreed to additional Minecraft time for him for history timeline purposes (if possible – he’s a bit busier than Eva is right now). He took a different approach, digging down into the recesses of the earth, in which he would plot out early human history. As written history begins and the story gets more complicated, he plans on building up out of the earth and creating branches that stretch upward with different and parallel story lines.

Really? Sometimes school planning is so difficult – coming up with creative things to keep the kids engaged in learning is frankly a challenge. And sometimes, it’s like this. The kids create something new and awesome, and I kick back while they teach me about what they’ve discovered. I can’t see anything bad in this. And though I will always always be an eclectic homeschooler (meaning a wide and varied combination of methods), I am happy to include Minecraft in our repertoire, at least for now.

What do you think? Pros and cons? I’d love to hear of your experiences and opinions about gaming in the classroom.

Mexi-Hexi-Flexigons!!!

Eva looooves Vi Hart, the charming, quirky, and brilliant mathematician who is best known for her verbally quick videos about math and doodling. This week, once again, Eva’s been studying her video on mexi-hexi-flexigons. Take a peek:

Ok. Now you know why we adore Vi. Today, Eva decided was The Day to make these delicious treats, so off we went to the grocery store to buy 12 inch tortillas for the task. We bought a package of 6.

Eva is working with the tortilla strip

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First step is to cut a strip from the center of the tortilla. Proportion is key. Too thin and it won’t hold any food, too thick, and you won’t be able to make enough triangles to complete the shape. Also, fresh tortillas are essential!! Most tortillas will break if you bend them around too much. Even with the package we just opened, we still had some tearing problems. Tortillas #1 – #4 met terrible fates, either from being too small or too big, or tearing when the flexing moment arrived.

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Oh my. We only had two tortillas left! This time, Eva paid close attention to the strip width, and we decided not to do any pre-eating flexing. This one was going to count.

Testing out the triangle strip

Building the triangle stack

This one’s going to work, we just know!

Pulling together the ingredients….

Drum Roll Please! …

 

Om nom nom.

Ian’s Newest Song: A Little Story and Video

Over the weekend – actually, on Saturday – Ian got a bug for a new song. He worked off and on for hours, plugging away at his keyboard, typing up lyrics, and generally working it through. It was a great weekend for it; with the high temperature at 2 degrees and a predicted blizzard, we didn’t have a lot planned. All day long the four of us alternated family game playing and meals with individual creative time – Jamie wrote, Eva read, I painted a wall in the dining room, and Ian made music.

At bedtime that evening, he was ready to share his final product with us. I was curled up on his futon couch, and Jamie leaned in the doorway. A lovely piece, he was so proud of it and attributed its sound to his work in music theory along with chord progressions Jamie had taught him over the years. The three of us sat there in that moment, enjoying the music, tweaking a couple of lyrics… Jamie suggested a bridge, and we talked about its musical and lyrical purpose. Ian’s really good at turning a phrase in his songs, slightly evolving the meaning or making the listener think it’s about one thing, when it’s suggesting something very different. We discussed all this, thinking he would work on adding a bridge the next day. But he was writing it in his head as we were talking, and in moments he had an entirely new section, lyrics and all.

The song is amazing, but I loved the evening too, so much. Before that final conversation, I had spent the previous hour in Ian’s room as he finalized his piece. He had his strings of white lights plugged in, which made it feel like we were being illuminated by candles. I’ve got a new novel I’m reading by Catherynne Valente, and it felt so great just to kick back in his room, reading and listening to him sing and play. Usually I’m folding laundry or straightening the house or something not nearly as magical. That whole evening – the reading and listening, the conversation and discussion about music and his song…. I don’t know. It just seems like one of those times that’s going to stick in my head to relive when I’m 70, 80, 90.

Tonight he had me film it for him. Lyrics are below the video. Enjoy.

Tell Me If I Did, by Ian Ridenhour

I’m not trying to love you, baby / You don’t have to hide / Here I am, a shelter from the storm / You can come inside / I just wanna be your best friend / If you need a place to cry

I’m not trying to hurt you, baby / I’m sorry if I did / There’s treasure here inside you, baby / Let’s find out where it’s hid / I don’t wanna keep any secrets / Tell me if I did

I’m not trying to love you, baby / I’m sorry if I did / Things have changed a lot between you and me / Let’s keep nothing hid / I don’t wanna make you think I love you / Tell me if I did

We could be so much together / Say the word, I’m yours / If I mess up, tell me, baby / I can close the door / I could be your very best friend / Or something more

Bridge: I’m dreaming all the time / You got me goin’ insane / I guess that now you’re mine / I am not to blame / I’m dreaming all the time

Life has ways of changing your mind / Now that we’re in love / I didn’t think I’d be your lover / Things have changed a lot / I don’t think it’s time just yet / So here’s a break-up song / If you forgive me, give me time / I’ll just play along

New Year Family Goal-Setting Time: Creativity

Creative outlets are what makes this family function properly. When out of balance, we all four get grumpy and unsettled. This has been especially challenging for us this year as we’ve moved into a very small, charming, and old bungalow with some fabulous unfinished spaces. We naively believed that we could have these spaces (one an attic that will become an art studio, and the second a basement that will outfit a music rehearsal and recording space) finished by early last fall. Ha! North Dakota’s oil boom related growth has kept every contractor and sub-contractor so busy it’s unbelievable. As a result, we’ve had to wait and wait and wait. We’ve been on top of each other, and the space we naturally take up for creating has been pretty much confined to the kitchen table.

The attic in process. The temporary pink foam sheets mark planned vertically placed skylights.

With all our art boxes still packed away in the garage, we (especially Eva and I) have felt unsettled this year. We have had some progress, and we see an end in sight: the attic by the end of the month, the basement by… dare I hope for the end of March? This makes us incredibly happy, and in the meantime, we keep our dining table nice and cluttered and full.

Oh, but the lure of these spaces! Eva and I are already dreaming of our separate writing areas up there, hers a window seat that I’ll build for her, mine a simple table and chair. A spacious Lego area, and of course lots of space for canvasses and paper, paint and pastels. Just the idea of all that gets our creative juices flowing.

in the meantime, Eva is working steadily on her newest novel, a science fiction piece that takes place in an animal cell. She’s had to take out a character, which has proven to be the biggest editing challenge she’s ever faced. But she’s determined. We cleaned off her bedroom desk yesterday so that she could feel more authorly. She’s been making writing-related posts on her Facebook author page that are so cheerful it feels like summer.

Eva is also continuing to explore music, enjoying playing trumpet in band, and teaching herself how to play piano. Bass clef is still sketchy, and she never commits enough to sit down at the piano, but she’ll stand there picking away every time she passes by the instrument (which is often). Spotify and her iPod have helped introduce Eva to new music, and right now she’s really into powerful women with a harder musical edge like Paramore and Joan Jett.

Ian has big goals too, which I’ve talked about before. Now that he’s done with his lengthy application process for the Downbeat Magazine Student Music Awards competition, he’s focusing on an orchestral composition that will begin as a 18th century classical work and transform into a modern heavy metal sound. A collaboration with fashion designer Isabella Taylor, they are working together to create a multi-media piece that moves from stately, refined conservatism to a freedom of expression and thought. She will design the fashions, and the music will help express the message in a runway-show-type presentation. It’s challenging work, and Ian has gotten his music theory teacher on board with the project so that he can receive regular expert feedback along the way.

Another big goal for Ian has to do with the pending space. Once the basement is finished, he hopes to turn it into a community hotspot, welcoming musicians of all ages to come and create music together. He wants to create official performing groups, but also to simply have opportunities to play with new folks just for the sheer delight of making music.

As an extension of this, Ian hopes to produce his first album this summer. We’ve been in steady conversation about this. It’s a challenging thing to take on, mainly because of the wide variety of genres Ian enjoys. How does one place a rock ballad next to a composition for orchestra? Do we make it a hodge-podge collection of his work as a type of demo? Do we release individual songs instead, using his Bandcamp page? Lots of things to consider here, and we haven’t figured it all out yet. There’s also the fundraising to think about. Recording of course isn’t cheap, and we feel it is important for Ian to be involved with this aspect of the business as well. We’ve discussed a possible Kickstarter campaign, which opens up all sorts of new things to research and explore, like what all needs to be in place before the campaign begins, how to make a convincing Kickstarter video, what benefits to offer supporters, and how to promote the campaign to ensure success.

Jamie with his newest book, In Darkest London

And that’s just the kids. Husband-Jamie is shopping for agents for a new YA novel, just published his first academic book, and is about to begin a new novel. I want to paint more and write more. I just met the lovely Elizabeth Raum this week, a professional children’s nonfiction author, and she has me inspired. I’m also lucky to have the brilliant and creative Jennifer Woods in my life, the vibrant editor of Typecast Publishing, who will I swear change the world with her vision and commitment to literary social engagement. Her work and enthusiasm is also quite inspiring and contagious. I can’t wait to see what 2013 brings.

If you see value in these exercises and goals, think about it within the language of school. This is our family’s school, our life. This is our education. If we could be so bold in supporting our schools and teachers, in training and then trusting them to be more subjective in their evaluation of student success – to accept portfolio reports instead of standardized test scores, think about it! The things we do here in our homeschool environment could be made accessible to so many other children! That’s an educational paradigm I could get into.

Ian is Featured on the Daily Dakotan

Matt Fern of The Creative Treatment featured Ian on his running series, “The Daily Dakotan.” Hope you enjoy!

A Holiday Opportunity to Support Young Talent

Eva’s wearing Isabella’s double breasted jacket with pin-on flower. The shirt underneath is soft and has poofy artist sleeves. The pants are super comfy stretch pants with zippers at the ankles.

Those of you connected to me on facebook know that I’m a huge fan of Isabella Taylor, the 11 year old artist from Austin, Texas who has wowed the world with her paintings, sculptures, poetry, and fabric works since she was a toddler. Her latest endeavor has launched her into the world of fashion. Over the last year or so, she’s been creating designs specifically for pre-teens, and she recently launched her own line. Isabella not only designed all the clothes, but has also been involved in each step of the production process including material selection, fitting, and working with models, agents, and photographers.

For the first time, her clothes are available to the public for purchase. Isabella and her family was kind enough to send a box of these delights to Eva, and I’ll tell you – the quality is unreal. They are so soft, so comfortable, so classy, and so well made. And they’re made in the USA. Whether or not you give these clothes away for the holidays, go check them out and just enjoy looking at all the beautiful pieces Isabella has created. The website is a feast for the eyes in and of itself.  You can find her website here, and you can read my interview with Isabella about her unique education here. You should also take a moment and watch her awesome video. Have fun!

Oh yeah, and before I forget, Ian is giving away 100 downloads of his song “Who Said” to the first folks who let him know they want it. You can email me at gwynridenhour@gmail.com if you’re interested, and I’ll pass the word along to him!

Skyping, Creativity, and Literacy

Just a quick follow up from my last post. This evening, another blog post popped up talking about Eva’s recent Skyping session; it also includes a short film clip from the classroom’s perspective. Renee Boss, who arranged the event, shares my passion for creativity in learning. She has some cool things to say on the topic. Check it out!

The Joy of Postponing Gratification

Ian pictured with the University of Mary Jazz Ensemble and Steel Drum Band

In this age of instant gratification that is fed by facebook posts, easy video uploading, and overnight youtube sensations, it’s tempting for us to long for the easy way. As a culture, we’ve always celebrated those folks who achieve overnight fame: love him or hate him, Justin Beiber is a great example. And it seems everywhere you look, there’s some young whipper-snapper who’s already on Ellen or American Idol, or has a bazillion hits on their youtube video that they put together in just a few hours.

We watch these rising stars at our house for talent inspiration, and because, well, it’s fascinating and somewhat alluring. But you have to be careful; quick success isn’t always the best route to take. One of my favorite mottos is  just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Though Ian certainly participates in activities with more instant gratification – he’s made and uploaded quite a few rough videos of him or him and a friend belting out pop songs and hoping for overnight viral status – it’s the harder work that takes longer that I admire most.

Last year, Ian started taking private music theory lessons with Dr. Anthony Williams at the University of Mary. To begin, his professor gave him just a few bars of melody of John Coltrane’s jazz classic “Bessie’s Blues.” Over the course of the year, Ian worked on that piece, broadening and arranging it for a full jazz band. Jazz is a fluid, generous genre, and it leaves a lot of opportunity for personal interpretation some original composition within the larger frame. Ian worked and worked on this piece, and there were some days he felt like he’d never see the end. His professor used the exercise to teach him music theory (another plug for making education relevant to the student!). The result: a much fuller understanding of music theory, and a kicking jazz piece to boot.

Because Ian’s professor is Awesome, and he directs the university Jazz Ensemble, he had his ensemble debut Ian’s piece last Friday as a part of their larger community jazz concert. He even invited Ian to sit in on the drums as a special guest. To finally hear his piece like we had all been “visualizing” in our minds for a full year – to hear it played by a full, smokin’ jazz ensemble – was, well, there are no words. We were beaming, all of us. Dancing in our seats. Hootin’ and hollarin’.

Perhaps the best part of the evening was that it got even better when we got home. Ian couldn’t sleep – a frequent occurrence after a gig – and immediately began composing a new jazz piece for the university ensemble next year. He knows it won’t be easy or fast. He knows it won’t be instant gratification. But he’s on fire, and he knows the hard work will pay off. I couldn’t be happier.