Over the weekend – actually, on Saturday – Ian got a bug for a new song. He worked off and on for hours, plugging away at his keyboard, typing up lyrics, and generally working it through. It was a great weekend for it; with the high temperature at 2 degrees and a predicted blizzard, we didn’t have a lot planned. All day long the four of us alternated family game playing and meals with individual creative time – Jamie wrote, Eva read, I painted a wall in the dining room, and Ian made music.
At bedtime that evening, he was ready to share his final product with us. I was curled up on his futon couch, and Jamie leaned in the doorway. A lovely piece, he was so proud of it and attributed its sound to his work in music theory along with chord progressions Jamie had taught him over the years. The three of us sat there in that moment, enjoying the music, tweaking a couple of lyrics… Jamie suggested a bridge, and we talked about its musical and lyrical purpose. Ian’s really good at turning a phrase in his songs, slightly evolving the meaning or making the listener think it’s about one thing, when it’s suggesting something very different. We discussed all this, thinking he would work on adding a bridge the next day. But he was writing it in his head as we were talking, and in moments he had an entirely new section, lyrics and all.
The song is amazing, but I loved the evening too, so much. Before that final conversation, I had spent the previous hour in Ian’s room as he finalized his piece. He had his strings of white lights plugged in, which made it feel like we were being illuminated by candles. I’ve got a new novel I’m reading by Catherynne Valente, and it felt so great just to kick back in his room, reading and listening to him sing and play. Usually I’m folding laundry or straightening the house or something not nearly as magical. That whole evening – the reading and listening, the conversation and discussion about music and his song…. I don’t know. It just seems like one of those times that’s going to stick in my head to relive when I’m 70, 80, 90.
Tonight he had me film it for him. Lyrics are below the video. Enjoy.
Tell Me If I Did, by Ian Ridenhour
I’m not trying to love you, baby / You don’t have to hide / Here I am, a shelter from the storm / You can come inside / I just wanna be your best friend / If you need a place to cry
I’m not trying to hurt you, baby / I’m sorry if I did / There’s treasure here inside you, baby / Let’s find out where it’s hid / I don’t wanna keep any secrets / Tell me if I did
I’m not trying to love you, baby / I’m sorry if I did / Things have changed a lot between you and me / Let’s keep nothing hid / I don’t wanna make you think I love you / Tell me if I did
We could be so much together / Say the word, I’m yours / If I mess up, tell me, baby / I can close the door / I could be your very best friend / Or something more
Bridge: I’m dreaming all the time / You got me goin’ insane / I guess that now you’re mine / I am not to blame / I’m dreaming all the time
Life has ways of changing your mind / Now that we’re in love / I didn’t think I’d be your lover / Things have changed a lot / I don’t think it’s time just yet / So here’s a break-up song / If you forgive me, give me time / I’ll just play along
I *loved* this post, Gwyn — simple words, simple activities, and yet it for some reason really struck a chord with me and made me look forward to the day I have a family of my own. You’re right, these are the times you will remember for decades to come.
Please tell Ian that I absolutely loved his song, both lyrics and melody, and actually left the page pulled up in a browser tab for several days so that I could occasionally play it while cooking / puttering around the house at night. I don’t have a musical bone in my body, so I have a lot of admiration for people who do, especially those like Ian, who is already so accomplished and passionate at such a young age. Congratulations on creating beauty.
Thanks so much for your comments Jess! I’m glad Ian’s song resonated with you, as well as our evening together. I passed along your compliments to Ian, who was very touched. Having a family can be pretty awesome. From all your unique interests I was reading about on your blog, I think yours will be fun and dynamic when you’re ready for one.
Do we have NC connections? That’s my home state, and I’m always yearning for it.
We very well may have NC connections. I’m originally from Jacksonville, FL, but was in the Triangle area of NC for 6-7 years before moving to Philly five months ago. Started out in Chapel Hill in 2006 (which is when I first met Amber), then Raleigh, then Durham… and *never* wanted to leave Durham! Interesting, the directions life takes you sometimes. What part of the state are you originally from? I understand the yearning for the Southern hospitality, the accents, the sunshine… and the barbecue!
Oh yes, Amber. I do love that woman. I’m from the mountain area – Asheville and Boone. I’m afraid I miss the mountains more than I miss the south. I would happily live anywhere up the Appalachians and into upstate NY or Vermont. My folks are still in Boone though, so that has a special heartstring tug. I lived the first year of my life in Jacksonville, FL too, by the way. How bizarre.
Did you really? Coincidence! What part of the city did you live in? You may not remember; sounds like you were pretty young. Did your family have Navy connections?
) — but I have to admit that Jacksonville is finally starting to earn some cool points for something other than just being the largest city in the lower 48. Neighborhoods like Riverside, Jax Beach, and parts of downtown are really starting to spruce up these days. I think hosting the Super Bowl in 2005 was a turning point for the city. My parents are still there, still in the house I grew up in, and my sister and her husband live right around the corner from them, so I go back regularly. I am so spoiled — the winter here in Philly is one of the mildest on record, and yet I’m complaining about the temperature almost every day! I don’t know how you guys deal with the “high of TWO degrees” you mentioned above! 
Aside from the beach, I have to admit that I never liked Jax too much while growing up — it always felt like a ‘concrete jungle’, while my beloved Triangle area of NC had a lot more ‘personality’ and was much more liberal (J-ville is pretty darn close to Georgia, in more ways than one…
And I LOVE Asheville — what a great area to grow up in! I don’t have too much experience with Boone, but I spent eight summers in Hendersonville as a teenager and young adult (camper and then counselor at Ton-A-Wandah, in Flat Rock) so I have a ‘heartstring tug’ to that area, too. My aunt and uncle just bought a retirement home in Black Mountain, so I’m hoping to use that as an excuse to spend some more time there!
My dad was in the army for a brief time, and that’s what brought us there. I lived there the first year of my life, so of course I remember nothing of it; we moved to New Orleans after that. I’m glad to hear that it’s experiencing some renaissance, though, especially as you have so much family still there.
My best friend lives in Hendersonville, so I am there as frequently as I can be (which is not very often, sadly). I know Flat Rock and all those lovely camps down there. I worked for a summer at one of them too, though it was in Brevard. That would be my ideal, I think – to move back to that area. I love Hendersonville – it’s like a younger Asheville. Not too trendy yet, nor overbuilt. And it has all the lovely mountain treats that made Asheville so attractive to begin with.
I agree; fantastic area for so many reasons. One of my “maybe-someday” dreams is to build/buy something like a Tumbleweed Tiny House (www.tumbleweedhomes.com) and live in it for a while, and that whole western NC area seems like a great place for a venture like that…
And wow, New Orleans too… you’ve had quite the U.S. tour! I haven’t been back there since Katrina, but heard an enthusiastic account from a patient the other day (who is in college at Tulane and LOVES it), essentially saying that the city is thriving and doing better than ever. I would like to believe him.
Whoops, bad link — tumbleweedhouses.com
Those are fun little homes! And yes, western NC is just the place for it.
I haven’t been back to New Orleans for a very long time. We moved away when I was only 12, and I went back once when I was 18. The beignets are to die for, Mardi Gras was magic, the zoo was amazing, and at the French Quarter, pigeons would land on your arm and eat out of your hand. I was too young to appreciate the music of the area, and it was the hottest place on earth in the summers, but all in all, I spent a happy childhood there.