Raising and educating children who don’t fit inside the educational norm takes courage and creativity. I talk a lot on this blog about my hopes for the improvement of education in general, and indeed, I am committed to that mission. But today I want to offer discussion about gifted children in particular.
Parents with academically gifted children often feel that they have no option but to leave their kids in educational situations that are unsatisfying. Even placing them in accepted accelerated tracks can sometimes simply not be enough. I have been the shoulder for dozens of parents who feel their hands are tied with regards to their bright children’s education. They tell me their kids are bored, depressed, hate school, feel patronized. That they are uninspired and disappointed. But what can they do? There are no better options.
In my city in particular, there are no gifted services save a short pull-out program that works with students about three hours per week. Many participants and their parents report that this is insufficient to address their educational needs. Private school options here are strictly parochial, and though they may provide superior academic options, religion becomes an inseparable component. Plus, it’s expensive, and may not do better in meeting your child’s educational needs. For many families, this also is an insufficient option.
So what are our options? How do you go about creating an educational plan for children who are testing out at five or six grades or more above their age level? My suggestions here are for families who have already gone through the testing and evaluation process to identify their children as highly or profoundly gifted. I can talk about the testing and identification process in a later post if you’re interested. Let me know.
1. Let go of convention. Though there are hundreds of families carving out unique educational plans all over the country, there may not be any in your particular town. You may well be on your own here, so you’re going to have to allow yourself to step outside the comfort zone of grade levels, traditional trajectory, and the too oft-repeated community mantra of “but what if your child doesn’t fit in?” If your child is unhappy, she’s already not fitting in.
Ian and his Science Olympiad partner four years his senior bring in a first place medal. Peer groups aren't always determined by age.
2. Let go of the need for your child to be in an age-related grade. This is an extension of point #1. We first had to deal with the question of “what grade are you in” when Ian did a double grade skip, from 2nd grade to 4th. A couple of years later, Eva did a single grade skip, skipping over 1st grade altogether. Once homeschooling came about, we had to drop the idea completely, as we don’t use much in the way of grade-specific curricula.
3. ASK YOUR KID. Dream together. Without parameters, what does your son or daughter want out of their education? Eva wants her education to allow her to write and self-publish books. Ian wants his education to focus on music. Those are our overarching goals. I asked about the short-term as well, and Eva surprised me by requesting an additional grade-skip so that she can take public school science and band in the 6th grade next year (this in edu-speak is known as “subject acceleration”). Ian is in the midst of considering classes in the middle school, high school, and even the university (again, see point #1).
4. Partner with (and seek advice from) educational experts. Ian, who will be 12 in June, is becoming increasingly ready for a higher level of education than what I can give him. I know we can still handle literature at home, and perhaps one more year of science, but he’s been stalling in math, and he’s far beyond what I can teach in music. I am in conversation with music instructors in the middle and high schools and in the university, trying to decide what his best option is for next year. We are carefully weighing what he’s ready for, what would serve him best, where he would be happiest, always balancing academic and social needs, and always including him in the process. And though I could teach him math again, we’ve together (ie: Ian, his dad and I, and the middle school administrators) decided on a fast-track middle school geometry course where he’ll be able to study with his friends. To begin the advocacy process for Eva, I’ll be working with the principal of her former public school to prepare an official recommendation based on her performance and test scores.
The Iowa Acceleration Scale
5. Assessments are your friends. OK, that felt odd just to type that. But truly, it is not assessments that I’m so opposed to, but our educational system’s obsession with them. Assessments when done right (and far less often) can be useful tools. And if you want to go outside the traditional school trajectory, you’re going to have to make teachers and admin folks feel comfortable about it. Though both my kids have received testing in the past to approve their grade-skips, I had them take quick state assessment tests last week (thank you Wachter Middle School for so kindly administering them!). The scores were consistent with their past experiences, but having them up to date will assist me in my advocacy for their placement next year. Ian also took the SAT this year; we felt that was important if we were considering university options. Also, don’t forget the Iowa Acceleration Scale, which is a tool made specifically to assess grade-skip readiness.
6. Recognize limitations. When you let go of all parameters, you have to be prepared that you will explore options that ultimately won’t be appropriate. Ian has been considering taking a college chemistry class to follow up on our chemistry study of last year. After interviewing the several science professors, the chemistry professor and parents of gifted children who have done this kind of thing before, we decided that solidifying his math study needed to come first. We want appropriate placement in whatever course of study we pursue, and are open to the reality of his pace; this means that we’re prepared to accelerate if necessary, and to slow down when needed.
7. Connect with the national gifted community for support and advice. Really, I can’t say this enough. This kind of radical acceleration isn’t as rare as you might think. If you feel like your child could benefit from the type of education I describe here, you should be in contact with the Davidson Institute of Talent Development and check out their Young Scholars program. There are many other wonderful organizations for gifted children as well, including Hoagies Gifted Education, National Association of Gifted Children (NAGC), Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG), and Gifted Homeschoolers Forum (GHF). And you can always contact me.
8. Lastly, always be prepared to ditch what doesn’t work. This means to ditch the traditional education path if need be, and ditch your carefully laid out acceleration plans if they’re not working. This is process of trial and error. We research and carefully consider each option, but ultimately, sometimes you just don’t know until you try. You only fail if you’re not prepared to change a negative situation (even if it’s a situation that you have created).
Gwen–You are such an inspiration. We are a week from finishing our first year of homeschooling (kindergarten) and already I am thinking we should be entering second grade, not first. I will check out the resources you mentioned. Thanks for following my blog (gerhardtschoolhouse)–I gave you a shout out a few weeks ago when we did Invention Week for all the Rube Goldberg inspiration!
I am a professor of organizational behavior and leadership, and have been doing increasing research on 21st century education–what our kids need to be leaders in the age of innovation. This has come full circle with my homeschooling experience with AJ. I am planning on writing several articles as well as potentially a book on this–let me know if you might ever be interested in collaborating. Thanks for the great example! Megan
I’m so glad you commented here! I had your post on inventions bookmarked to read this week, and this was a good reminder. I loved the post, and the work you did throughout the week. Our approaches sound very similar!
I’m also happy to be of help, and am glad you find this post inspiring. If there’s anything I can do to help as you consider your options, please don’t hesitate to contact me-
We agree! It was hard a first to “step off the tredmill of tradition” but once we did things began to really makes sence and real learning began in earnest in our family. When public school and private school just didn’t seem to fit, we began to homeschool. With the freedom of this hit us, we began to travel and to find some absolutely wonderful opportunities for learning everwhere.
Those long held assumptions of age bracketing, classroom enclosing, and general exclusion from life are killing the love of learning in our children. If we would all take a step back and think, really think about what we’d like our children to know, to examine just why we are educating them and what we hope and dream that they can do, we would be appauled at how divergent our schooling is from these goals.
So our family took stock of what we thought was important to know as a young adult entering the world of life on their own. Sure reading, writing, computing, speaking were on the list along with business acumen and history, geography, but also personal finance and taking care of ones body and mind, personal realationships, and how to follow your passions. We threw in knowing another language, other cultures and seeing our country from an outsiders perspective. The list goes on, but you get the idea. Practical and relevent information was essential. We wanted our child to be able to literally find her way in the world, no matter where she may be.
So we found ways to teacher her ourselves or with others doing the same thing. Our child was able to live, very economically I may add, with other families outside to the U.S. with an International exchange program. We found inexpensive programs at our local public university for her to attend. Learning opportunities are everywhere. So, yes thinking out-side-of-the-box is indeed what we need to do.
The result of this unique style of education has created a happy close knit family life we have come to fullly enjoy, and has not hindered any acceptance to universities,in fact I beleive it has been the key to her success. Thank you for these wonderful suggestions, they just might work as well for others as they have for us.
What a wonderful experience you’ve given you daughter and your family! It’s funny; I’ve yet to hear a negative experience once families decide to do things differently and take that plunge. Thanks for sharing your story here! And congratulations for stepping out into the new.
[...] couple of weeks ago I posted some thoughts and advice about educating gifted children. I feel it is important to share real stories about this process to help families make informed [...]
Ahhhh, there is so much I can say about this post and what I am going through with my ds6 at this time. He’s in public school 1st grade. I have decided to pull him out because he’s gifted and the school will not even acknowledge it, let alone test him. I’m going to homeschool him for now. (I’m an unemployed teacher) I have no experience with giftedness and am at a loss for what to do. I’m told he needs counseling to deal with his asynchrony and I’d like to have him tested so I know where he is. I know he’s gifted in reading. He’s at a 3rd grade level. Well, as far as we know. His teacher won’t let him advance. He appears to have all 5 of Dabrowski’s overexcitabilities. Some more than others. I have no doubt of my teaching abilities, but dealing with his issues and meltdowns overwhelms me. I don’t know HOW gifted he is. Not profoundly. He placed in the 99th percentile for reading and 93-4 I think for math for the standardized tests at school. He’s really an amazing child. Very verbal since early on. His teacher has him on a behavior chart, mostly for talking. She reports every time he talks in the hall on the way back from lunch, or in the recess line. He was accused of being disrespectful because he was telling one of his teachers how to make a proper star for his behavior chart because she didn’t do it perfectly. That’s his perfectionism. But they don’t want to hear that. He wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. Sheesh. I have to quit. I could go on and on about our struggles. I need help and the school won’t help me. They won’t even work with me at all.
So sorry to hear how difficult it’s been for you and your son. Our son’s 1st grade year was his most difficult as well; he was highly energetic, didn’t have much of an attention span in the classroom setting which he found incredibly boring, and was impulsive. Of course he was those things – he was an intelligent 6 year old. Things got kind of ugly with his 1st grade teacher, who didn’t have any patience for him. It was a hard, hard year. Fortunately, things got better with other, later teachers, and then finally homeschooling. All I can say is offer hope for a more positive future. Though that was a black year for Ian, he is now an extremely happy and well adjusted kid.
Really, I can’t say this enough – don’t wait for the school to provide him what he needs. If you feel like a psych eval would be helpful to him and to you, then just do it privately. Get the IQ test as a part of that eval – these are all great tools that will help you both now and in the coming years. Then check out the Davidson Institute for Talent Development Young Scholars program. There is an IQ number they’re looking for, but they recognize that many gifted kids are asynchronous, and look at your narrative along with the test scores. If he qualifies, you will be instantly plugged in to a wealth of resources and guidance – both staff and other parents. If he doesn’t, then there’s still other great organizations, such as SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted). Feel free to email me at jamieandgwyn at btinet.net.
Thank you for this post. We are homeschooling our children and our oldest is showing signs of giftedness. This post gives me hope and ideas for our children. The posts in response have also given me things to research since my oldest seems to have 4 of 5 of Dabrowski’s overexcitabilities.
So glad this is helpful to you! Feel free to poke around the blog for other ideas. And I’ll repeat my previous comment here – there are many fantastic organizations that will provide a wealth of resources, advice, and support for families with gifted kids. Definitely check out the links I have in this post. These have been life-savers for us. There is a community of families out there – you just have to tap in, and organizations like Davidson, Hoagies, and SENG are among the best way to start.